Snarky McSnide Says, Dear Anonymous

Dear Anonymous

 

Snarky has seen the light. In your recent communication, published in the Herald's last edition, you tried to hurt Snarky's feelings by accusing Snarky of not being a progressive.

 

Snarky has changed his spots before your very eyes, Anonymous.

 

In addition to apologizing to Charles Davis and his merry crew, Snarky wants to jump on board and get some of the credit for being a forward thinking citizen of our fair, formerly named Celery City.  (What other high school in the whole world had a class ring with stalks of celery on the sides?)

 

Snarky is worried that the Heritage Park development is not progressive enough.  You are right, the CRA needs to spend taxpayer's money to put in at least another 25 charging stations for Teslas to serve that upscale new development that is going to put Sanford on the map.

 

Each Rest Area on our Interstate Highway System needs ten Tesla charging stations immediately. As speedy, long range electric cars become more commonplace, Snarky, now being a born again progressive, will support a Tesla tax to maintain our highway infrastructure. Each month, the Tesla's onboard computer will transmit to the appropriate taxing authorities the miles traveled.  The amount owed for this mileage will automatically be withdrawn from the owners bank account.

 

Anonymous, Sanford already is a sanctuary city. It is a quiet peaceful town without the noise, smog, traffic congestion, that is the rest of Central Florida.

 

Your support of a $15 an hour minimum wage is suspect, Anonymous.  Restaurant personnel are almost unanimously against it as seen in recent events in our nations Capital. Be careful, locals are watchful, hesitation and indecision in the tipping department will give you away.

 

Please write again, unlike the United States Senate, Snarky respects confidentiality requests.

 

Snarky's email address is snarky@mysanfordherald.com

 

 

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